Tuesday was a very important day in my nursing school life. We had a lottery to choose our positions for our FINAL task of nursing school - a 180-hour preceptorship where we work alongside a RN and function as a registered nurse. Basically, it's a practice run for the real deal.
Tensions had been mounting for weeks as the lottery approached. People were loudly sharing their preferences of location and nursing unit, in hopes that nearby ears would hear and take note.
While others had been very clear on their preferences, I was wavering. There were several positions that seemed interesting. The ICU? The Emergency Department? The cardiac floor from last quarter? Mother - Baby? The options seemed endless!! In uncharacteristic fashion, I had no idea what to choose. Our instructor encouraged us to come to the lottery with 5 - 7 preferences of positions that we would like...I had 2.
The lottery worked like this: as we walked into the room, each person pulled a random number from a basket - 1 through 33. We had 33 positions to choose from. The person who pulled number 1 had the first choice of positions, then number 2 chose from the remaining positions, etc. Basically, it was all about the number. The higher the number, the better chance of getting a preferred position.
As I inspected the list over the weekend, I would feel overwhelmed, say a quick prayer, and put it aside. I knew God would have the perfect spot for me. I stood strong!
Until yesterday.
I walked into the classroom, took a deep breath, stuck my hand in the basket, and pulled my number. I nervously unfolded the paper, and took a peek.
30.
As in, 30 out of 33.
As in, 29 people picked before me.
As in, when it came time for me to choose, I would only have 4 choices.
I was totally bummed out.
I went to my seat, resolved that I would not have any of my top choices (all 2 of them). In a weird way, part of me felt relived. Since I was number 30, so many spots would be eliminated, it would make choosing my position easier. Lord willing, out of 4 choices I could choose my favorite! I prayed again and awaited my fate.
As the lottery began, I got really discouraged. Man, how could this happen? Why didn't I choose a better number?? How could I possible get my "God - appointed" position with such a poor number??
As we moved through each number, I would draw a line through that position on my list. Some lines I was happy to draw - a position I would gladly pass on to someone else, but other lines were discouraging to draw. Bye-bye ICU positions, bye-bye ER positions, bye-bye unit from last quarter.
Before I knew it, we were at number 20. The positions were obviously dwindling, and many of the highly coveted spots were long gone. However, I noticed that the two Mother-Baby positions were still available. I thought, "How is this possible"?
Number 25. The two spots are still unchosen. I start praying. Actually, I had been praying the whole time, but more out of frustration and disappointment than out of a place of God's provision.
Number 27. My friend chooses one of the Mother-Baby positions. I am genuinely excited, but too busy focusing on the pounding that was beginning inside my chest. One spot left. I have a sudden moment of clarity - I *want* that Mother-Baby spot. I don't want to work in an ICU. I don't want to work in the Emergency Department. I don't want to work with cardiac patients. I want to work with Moms and families bringing life into this world!!!
FINALLY, after what seemed like 1,000 years, my number is called. I leapt out of my seat, practically ran to the front, and ecstatically announced my choice. I apparently did it with so much enthusiasm that my classmates began to "whoop" and holler!
After the meeting, I called home and freaked out on the phone with my Mom. My Dad was the next phone call. I then called my Aunt (who is a nurse and worked Mother - Baby for many years). So much celebration!
When I got home, there were toe touches, happy dances, and maybe a fist pump or two. As I was talking to my Dad again, I suddenly wondered what my number stands for - the number 30. I found
my card with number and color meanings and searched for the number 30.
Guess what 30 means.
You aren't going to believe it.
30 stands for BEGINNING MINISTRY.
That's right - beginning ministry. I can't say that enough! I chose the number 30. God's choice for me was number 30. That number caused all the other positions to be quickly cast out of the way so I could see - with clarity - the position that God chose for me. Finally, I can say with confidence that this is the road for me. I knew it when I was in the delivery room on March 16, 2007 when
Isabel was born. I have know it each and every time a friend has a baby and adds to their family. *This* is what I'm meant for! Moms and babies - I'm coming for you!
What lesson did I learn from this? Once again, God is in control. He has a perfect, strategic plan for every situation we face. NOTHING is unintentional. NOTHING is without purpose. He chose this situation to confirm my path. I am so thankful that we have a patient Father that doesn't get put off when we doubt Him, question Him, or walk without Him. He is there every step of the way, working ALL THINGS for our good!
YAY GOD!!!!!
